WARNING: Adult content. (So now you want to read on even more.)
How has American TV not jumped on this concept? Talk about “can’t miss.” Remember a reality show a couple of years ago called KILLER KARAOKE? Contestants had to sing karaoke and maintain their concentration while being bombarded by tomatoes, given electroshock, or waterboarded – fun stuff like that. The first episode was somewhat amusing, but it became repetitive quite quickly.
The Japanese have solved that problem! They’ve created a show called SING WHAT HAPPENS. Similar premise – can a contestant be disrupted while singing karaoke? Except here’s the twist: A girl is giving him a handjob during his performance. He has to finish the song uninterrupted and not ejaculate. No, I’m not kidding. Really. Seriously. It’s true. Honest. Don’t believe me?
It’s the first game show where there are no losers. I imagine even the screening process to get on the show has its own rewards.
I know on FEAR FACTOR they hired production assistants whose job it was to test out the stunts. Depending on how many beetles they could swallow or feet they could fall before dying, the parameters were set for the contestants. What about this show? It’s bad enough they make interns go for coffee. What is the average time it would take to disrupt a contestant? What method is more effective? These are all vital questions that must be answered -- by somebody... making $2.00 an hour.
And then there's the auditioning process. “Very impressive Sally – graduated tops in your class in television production at NYU – I think there’s a place for you here. First assignment: we have 70 guys in the other room here to try out for our show. We need you to give them all handjobs. After that, could you get me coffee?”
I have no idea whether they have women contestants. (Although they’d have an easier time getting interns for that assignment.)
It’s only a matter of time of course before this show hits the American airwaves. The only question is whether Paris Hilton, Monica Lewinsky, or Carson Daly is going to host it.
The trouble is: How do you write sketches spoofing reality shows when shows like this actually exist?
And God knows what is next? Paddy Chayefsky wrote a scathing satire on television in the ‘70s called NETWORK. (If you haven't seen it, you MUST!!!) We have so far gone past it that we’ve now probably lapped it…twice.