Hey they, scribes, do you sometimes have scenes that don’t work and you’re not sure why? Or scenes that feel too long or unfocused? There's a great exercise that will help solve these problems.
It's actually an improv exercise. Andy Goldberg in his improvisation workshop had us do this last night and my first thought was, as helpful as this is to actors it's even more helpful to writers.
Here's how it works: Two or three actors do a scene. And then repeat it. Two more times. The first time the scene is a minute long. The second time the exact same scene is thirty seconds. And the third time the exact same scene is ten seconds.
The exercise forces you to edit and ultimately distill the scene down to its very basic objective. Now, I’m not saying all scenes need to be less than a minute. You want the jokes and interaction and great character moments. But you also have to determine what’s really needed. And it’s amazing how you can always find trims.
For purposes of demonstration, I’ve taken a scene from the “Room Service” episode of FRASIER that David Isaacs and I wrote. Applying this exercise I’ve written three versions. (In the story, Frasier has discovered that Niles has slept with Lilith. He runs out of the hotel room but returns. The point of the scene is that since all three are psychiatrists, they all have different psychological explanations based on their individual philosophies) HERE’S THE ORIGINAL VERSION: THERE’S A KNOCK AT THE DOOR. LILITH OPENS IT AND FRASIER COMES BACK INTO THE HOTEL ROOM.
NILES: I knew you couldn’t stay mad at us.
FRASIER: I’m in a bathrobe, you jackass.
FRASIER BEGINS COLLECTING HIS CLOTHES AS SOMETHING DAWNS ON LILITH.
LILITH: I can understand your shock and – believe me, if I could erase everything that happened last night I would. But if you look at this rationally for a moment, we didn’t technically do anything wrong.
FRASIER: What?! You didn’t do anything wrong?
NILES: I’m a little unclear on that myself but I’m willing to go along with it.
LILITH: You and I are no longer married. Neither is Niles. I won’t say this is my shining hour but we’re not responsible to you or anyone else for our actions.
FRASIER: I can’t believe this! You’re actually defending what you did?
LILITH: Just listen. The past few days have been the worst of my life. I’ve never felt less self-assured, more in need of validation, both as a person and as a woman. And Niles was feeling the same thing.
NILES: Exactly. (realizing) Wait a minute.
LILITH: (to Frasier) Our physical reaction to each other was nothing more than a desperate attempt to reaffirm our own worth.
FRASIER: Very impressive, Lilith. But I happen to be a psychiatrist too. Let me tell you what really transpired. This is a passive-aggressive manifestation of the deep resentments that you both have toward me. You were punishing me for my notoriety. My successful adjustment after our marriage. It is this shared bond that brought you two to your palace of sweet revenge.
LILITH: Allow me to rebut: What a crock.
FRASIER: It is not!
LILITH: This is yet another example of your complete self-absorption and the reason we could not stay together in the first place.
FRASIER: I think I have a right to -- why am I defending myself?
NILES: If you ask me, you’re both off the mark. Last night was all about two people ruled by very strong superegos, tortured by them, who had a chance, however misguided, to break through and rediscover their ids together. Call me an old softy, but that’s how I see it.
FRASIER: (a beat, then) Okay, then… the three of us have certainly analyzed the crap out of this.
HERE’S THE MODIFIED VERSION:THERE’S A KNOCK AT THE DOOR. LILITH OPENS IT AND FRASIER COMES BACK INTO THE HOTEL ROOM.
LILITH: Look, Frasier, you and I are no longer married. Neither is Niles. I won’t say this is my shining hour but we’re not responsible to you or anyone else for our actions.
FRASIER: You’re actually defending what you did?
LILITH: The past few days have been the worst of my life. I’ve never felt less self-assured, more in need of validation, both as a person and as a woman. Our physical reaction to each other was nothing more than a desperate attempt to reaffirm our own worth.
FRASIER: No, this is a passive-aggressive manifestation of the deep resentments that you both have toward me. It is this shared bond that brought you two to your palace of sweet revenge.
NILES: If you ask me, last night was all about two people ruled by very strong superegos, who had a chance to rediscover their ids together. Call me an old softy, but that’s how I see it.
FRASIER: (a beat, then) Okay, then… the three of us have certainly analyzed the crap out of this.
AND FINALLY, THE TEN SECOND VERSION:THERE’S A KNOCK AT THE DOOR. LILITH OPENS IT AND FRASIER COMES BACK INTO THE HOTEL ROOM.
LILITH: Frasier, the sex was just a desperate attempt to reaffirm our own worth.
FRASIER: No, it was a passive-aggressive manifestation of your shared resentment toward me.
NILES: No, it was two people with strong superegos rediscovering their ids.
FRASIER: (a beat, then) Okay, then… the three of us have certainly analyzed the crap out of this.
What you're essentially doing is finding the spine of your scene. Or realizing you don't have one. Try it. You'll thank me (well... you'll thank Andy Goldberg). Probably three times.