My thoughts on the recent Aaron Sorkin controversy

A lot of readers are asking my opinion of the recent Aaron Sorkin/Alena Smith flap. This is nice. Before I had a blog no one asked me about anything. So I’ll take a moment from plugging my book sale (the real reason for this blog) and weigh in with my thoughts.

In case you’re not familiar with the story. On last Sunday night’s episode of THE NEWSROOM there was a campus rape storyline that has angered many viewers. It’s also very timely considering the recent Cosby allegations and University of Virginia/ROLLING STONE debacle. But the episode was filmed months ago. The fact that Sorkin touched on a hotbed subject is actually coincidental. It happens. Real life events sometimes have the audacity to interfere with entertainment scheduling.

Alena Smith was a staff writer on the show and tweeted this week that she strongly disagreed with Sorkin’s position on the campus rape issue in the writers room, and when she wouldn’t stop pressing it Sorkin eventually asked her to leave.

Sorkin then issued a statement. Here is part of that response:

Alena Smith, a staff writer who joined the show for the third season, had strong objections to the Princeton story and made those objections known to me and to the room. I heard Alena's objections and there was some healthy back and forth. After a while I needed to move on (there's a clock ticking) but Alena wasn't ready to do that yet. I gave her more time but then I really needed to move on. Alena still wouldn't let me do that so I excused her from the room.

The next day I wrote a new draft of the Princeton scenes--the draft you saw performed last night. Alena gave the new pages her enthusiastic support. So I was surprised to be told this morning that Alena had tweeted out her unhappiness with the story. But I was even more surprised that she had so casually violated the most important rule of working in a writers room which is confidentiality. It was a room in which people felt safe enough to discuss private and intimate details of their lives in the hope of bringing dimension to stories that were being pitched. That's what happens in writers rooms and while ours was the first one Alena ever worked in, the importance of privacy was made clear to everyone on our first day of work and was reinforced constantly. I'm saddened that she's broken that trust.

And now Sorkin is taking more flack.

So where do I stand?

Well, first of all, I wasn’t in the room. I don’t know how long the debate was. I don’t know how contentious the debate was. I don’t know Alena Smith. I didn’t even know Aaron Sorkin had a writers room. I did see the episode however. I am still a loyal viewer of THE NEWSROOM. It makes me feel smart if I can understand half of what is going on. So I have no idea who was right or wrong. I’m clueless as to whether Sorkin gave her sufficient time or was dismissive, whether she had a myriad of points that required time to express or the same point repeated seven times. I don’t know if he warned her that she was in jeopardy of being tossed. I don’t know if ultimately in his rewrite Sorkin did change things as per her argument or ignored her completely.

But I side with Sorkin on this point: Confidentiality in the writers’ room is a must. And it’s more than just “you shouldn’t air your dirty laundry in public.” Writers need to feel safe. The best stories and moments come from real life, and in the quest for a good story a writer will often share the most intimate details of his or her life. It is a brave and courageous thing to do, to expose yourself for the sake of art. You truly cannot believe some of the shocking things writers will confess in those rooms – things they haven’t told their family, spouse, or shrink. I was once in a rewrite (and this was for a sitcom) where one of the baby writers revealed she had once been gangbanged. Holy shit! She’s telling me this and I didn’t even know her name?

When you join a writing staff it is understood that you honor confidentiality. That’s a cardinal rule. No exceptions. Heide Perlman was a staff writer on CHEERS. Her sister, Rhea, was in the cast. But we knew that nothing said in the room about Rhea or anybody would ever get back to her. And we all said NICE things.

But that’s the code and Alena broke it. Did she ultimately harm anybody? No. But it’s like Pete Rose gambling in baseball. After the Black Sox scandal in 1919 baseball determined that the one thing that could kill the game was if the public thought it was fixed. So there is a rule that players, managers, and coaches are forbidden to bet on baseball. They sign agreements to that effect. There are big signs posted in every major league clubhouse. When Pete was managing Cincinnati he broke that code. You could argue that he only bet on his team, but what about nights he didn’t bet? Wasn’t that sending the message that he didn’t think his team would win that night? Wouldn’t that be handy information to have if you’re a professional gambler?

Again, I’ve never worked for Aaron Sorkin. I might want to kill him if I did. I dunno. He might want to kill me if he were ever on my staff.  But internal struggles have to remain internal. It’s necessary for the process.

Think of it this way:  the writers' room is the ultimate Las Vegas.  What happens in the room STAYS in the room.

Some suggest that Alena Smith will have trouble getting future staff work because of this. In some cases I’m sure that’s true. Would I ever hire her? If I thought she was the best writer for the position then yes I would. Really good writers are hard to find. And the confidentiality issue?  I bet she never does that again.

Now the plug for my book:  Last few days of the sale of  THE ME GENERATION...BY ME (GROWING UP IN THE '60S).  Only $.99, an 81% saving.   Way more laughs to the penny than you'll ever find again.  Here's where you go.  But hurry!  

WHIPLASH -- It's got a good beat and you can dance to it

Now that I’ve seen WHIPLASH, I think back to those Farmers Insurance commercials featuring J.K. Simmons as a teacher at “Farmers University” and wonder what hell he put his students through. “Write up that claim, you pansy-ass worthless piece of shit! Faster! FASTER!  Are you waiting for the muse to strike, you sensitive little fucking insignificant mama’s boy whiner?!” And I picture the agent wannabes marching in perfect formation for fifty miles while singing “We are Farmers, bump be-dee-bump, bump bump bump!”

J.K. Simmons, a gifted comic actor most of the time, plays a terrifying but absolutely riveting music teacher in WHIPLASH, easily one of the best movies of the year. It’s FAME meets THE GREAT SANTANI with a little ROCKY, HOOSIERS, and FULL METAL JACKET thrown in for spice. Or THE BLACK SWAN without any eating disorders. The music is heart-pounding and thrilling. Ladies and gentleman, the beat REALLY goes on. And yes, it’s a movie about jazz music but there’s more blood than in JAWS.

I could really relate because that's my teaching style at USC. 

Simmons has played bad-ass before -- anyone who’s seen him in OZ knows not to say anything that might hurt his feelings. But here he takes “tough love teacher” to a whole ‘nother place – Guantanamo I think. Oscar nomination? A lock.

So imagine having to co-star with such a magnetic, forceful actor. Newcomer Miles Teller holds his own and more as the young drum student who is pushed to levels one step beyond Travis Bickle. At times Teller reminded me of young a Dustin Hoffman, but way more intense. And wow, can he play drums. Think: Buddy Rich not Ringo. Oscar nomination? I hope so.

Paul Reiser played Teller’s father and didn’t talk incessantly so it was his best performance since DINER.

In a movie that celebrates extraordinary talent, Damien Chazelle proves to be just that as both a writer and director. While Hollywood is fawning all over the Michael Bay’s of the world, people like Chazelle is who they should really be going after. It’s a shame to think that for a movie this good to get any distribution it has to be made independently and win a bunch of awards at film festivals. And then it gets booked into art houses. I wonder how many of you are in small towns where this movie isn’t even playing while DUMBER AND DUMBER TO is showing on fifteen screens.

If you get a chance, see WHIPLASH. Oh, and if you play an instrument – practice.

My Kindle version of THE ME GENERATION... BY ME (GROWING UP IN THE '60S) remains on sale for $.99, which is way less than a dollar.   If you don't want to relive your youth then at least relive mine.  Here's where you go.  Thanks.

My version of Cyber Monday: My book is now on sale for $.99

That's right.  For just a few days only, the Kindle version of my book THE ME GENERATION... BY ME (GROWING UP IN THE '60s) will be sale for only $.99.  That's an 81% discount.  

It's the perfect gift for the holidays, especially for baby boomers (so in other words -- your parents, co-workers, aging hippies, or you).   The book chronicles my attempting to grow up in Southern California during the most turbulent and drugged-out decade of the century.  It's all here -- the California Myth, the Sunset Strip, psychedelia, the space race, the Summer of Love, student unrest, sitting home while others had sex.  

Here's where you go to order.   

Seriously, this sale is only for a few days.  So take advantage.  Enjoy a fun ride and support this blog for only $.99.

Here's an excerpt: 

I turned 16 on Valentine’s Day. This is a bigger milestone for girls. Guys do not have Sweet Sixteen parties. They just get their driver’s license.

Unless they have no depth perception, took the exam in a Chevy Impala the size of an aircraft carrier, and failed the test miserably. Happy birthday to me.

The worst part was that I had to wait several weeks to re-take the exam. So everybody knew I failed. To save face – because how humiliating to say you couldn’t parallel park – I just said I hit a guy.

After much practice, re-taking the test in my mom’s Mercury Comet (a car that could fit in the Impala’s glove compartment), I finally passed and got that elusive passport to freedom.

Which meant I finally went out on a real first date. I was still way too intimidated to ask Bev Fine so I asked Marcy Loudon. I wanted to get a few rejections under my belt first so I could better withstand Bev’s ultimate lethal blow. Amazingly, Marcy said yes and that Saturday night I took her to the Corbin Theater on Ventura Blvd. to see one of the great date movies of all-time, To Kill A Mockingbird.

The plan was to put my arm around her about halfway into the film. It was tough though finding just that right moment in the rape trial. I think I got up the courage and draped my arm around her just as Tom is shot to death while trying to escape from jail.

For a nightcap I took Marcy to Farrell’s Ice Cream parlor where we discussed the differences between the movie and the book, and I had her home by midnight. A quick peck on the cheek and that was it.

All girls had curfews back then. Midnight was standard. The penalty for violation was usually grounding. Grounding was actually an effective deterrent in 1966 – at least for the girls I dated. I’m sure my classmate who slept with own her brother didn’t give a shit if she couldn’t go to the Spring Sing. But the girls I dated always insisted on being home by twelve. And I choose to believe it was because of that severe penalty. Please allow me that little fantasy.

What's it like writing for animals?

A lot easier than directing them. On FRASIER the key to writing for Eddie was not asking too much of him. Moose (Eddie’s real name) had an extraordinary trainer in Mathilde de Cagny. As long as the stunt was quick and doable, Mathilde could get Moose to do it (always through treats and loving care). If there was some question while we were writing we would just ask Mathilde. More often than not she’d say Moose could do it. The dog was a gamer! With actors we had to ask their managers.

Other writers were more of a problem. One day in the writers room I pitched some bit with Eddie and a sock and one of the writers (who constantly drove everyone nuts) asked, “What is Eddie thinking now?” What is he fucking THINKING??! How do you answer someone like that without being brought up on charges?

Moose passed away at 15, which is like 108 dog years. I'm only sorry he never got to be on INSIDE THE ACTOR'S STUDIO with James Lipton.

Directing animals is another story.

I directed an episode of JUST SHOOT ME called “Sewer”. The B-story had Nina (Wendie Malick) bringing in an orangutan. I forget why but I’m sure it was for a good reason. He was a little harder to train and was in a good part of the show.

On filming night I said to the actors, if he does anything unexpected just go with it and stay in character. We can always re-shoot the scene. Likewise, I told the four camera operators, if you’re on the orangutan and he does something wacky stay on him. Don’t go to your next shot.

Sure enough with cameras rolling and the audience in place, Wendie steps out of the elevator hand in hand with her furry friend, approaches David Spade’s counter, and has a brief exchange with him. The orangutan, who comes up to Wendie’s knees, lifts her dress a few inches, and peers right up between her legs. God love her, Wendie stayed completely in character and reacted with utter nonchalance. The audience went completely nuts. It was a five minute laugh.

After the show had been filmed and the audience released I went back to do some pick-ups. The orangutan’s trainer tapped me on the shoulder and gently told me it was past his bedtime. I said it would only be about another fifteen minutes. He repeated: “Uh, it’s past his bedtime.” I then asked what happens if he stays up after his bedtime?

“He bites everybody he sees.”

“Okay everybody, that’s a wrap!”

I’ve heard stories of actors who were reluctant to work with animals for fear of being upstaged, but I’ve never personally encountered one. However, I think there was a cat who once refused to work with Dustin Hoffman.

This was a repost from four years ago.

Your life is not a sitcom

Over the years I’ve been pitched hundreds of ideas from people not in the business. I was handling funeral arrangements for my grandmother's passing and the mortician pitched me a movie. Small sample size, but so far there’s not one pitch I’ve sparked to. Most of the pitches go like this:

“I work at __________ and you wouldn’t believe how funny it is there? I mean, the things that go on, I could tell you stories, you could write a GREAT sitcom about it.”

If I’m lucky they’ll leave it there but most times they add one or two of those hilarious incidents. They’re usually on a caliber of “we got a guy who never puts sugar in his coffee and one time when he wasn’t looking some slipped in some sugar and then when he drank he went, “Eeeeeuu! Did someone put sugar in my coffee?” At this point the storyteller is usually convulsing with laughter just recalling this classic event. I’m praying for a meteor.


“Tonight, on a very special episode of LAMP SALESMAN, someone slips sugar in Dan’s coffee.”Just because you sell lamps, or work in a real estate office, or a Costco, or in a barbershop, or at a train station and there are co-workers who are a little quirky, this does not mean you have the premise for a sitcom. You have the premise for a work location. And chances are, even with those zany “nuts” you work with, your situation is no funnier than any of the others.

Here’s what nobody ever pitches me: a show about a relationship. THE OFFICE is funny because of the relationship between Michael and his employees. It is funnier still because of the relationships among the employees. What they actually manufacture is completely unimportant.

Start with the characters first.

What about the dynamics between them are interesting, fresh, and could sustain stories week after week? And then, what is the best setting to put them in? One that hasn’t been seen before is a plus but not imperative. How many shows and plays and radio series have been set in bars?

That said, there are some areas that are tougher sales than others. Madcap terrorist cells probably won’t fly.

But the next time you come up to me, assuming it’s not in a funeral parlor (and his movie idea was just friggin’ awful), and you have a great idea for a series, start with who are they are, not what they do. And if they truly are interesting you won’t even need those hilarious incidents.

This is a re-post from five years ago. 

PETER PAN LIVE -- My review

Friday Questions will not be seen this week so that we can bring you this special program. Friday Questions will return in its normal time next week. But now, we proudly present: PETER PAN THE DAY AFTER.

The very fact that everybody is talking about PETER PAN LIVE today makes it a huge success in my book. How often in these days of 900 channels (600 of them featuring cooking shows) does the country experience a shared event? And you had to watch it last night because it was live and you knew it would be the topic of conversation in every school, office, and maximum security prison in the land.

Oh, and it wasn’t all that bad. Certainly not like that SOUND OF MUSIC train wreck last year when all of America was screaming, “Bring on the Nazis already!” And PETER PAN LIVE was an enormous undertaking. Kudos to the hundreds of people behind-the-scenes who pulled off this highly ambitious project with no room for error. Yes, there were wires but no nets.

Do I have quibbles and snarky comments? Oh yeah. It wouldn’t be me otherwise, but on the whole I thought everyone involved should be applauded for a job well done.

First off, Allison Williams surpassed my expectations as Peter. She can sing well enough, crow well enough, and if she threw every teenage boy into a frenzied state of sexual confusion, well, so be it. At least we had Clarissa there to explain it all to you.

On the other hand, Christopher Sleep-Walken – what the fuck was he doing? Even for Chris Walken he was clueless. If there ever was a “lost” boy on the set it was Walken (who you know I normally love). Half the time he couldn’t remember his lines and the ones he said were probably snippets of dialogue from DEER HUNTER.

Now let’s go through the show:

The opening scene was slow and endless – the MUPPET BABIES version of DOWNTON ABBEY. Nana, the dog, however, knew her cues better than Christopher Walken. Did they have to make the wires SO noticeable? They couldn’t have found clear wires? I mean, we know it’s a special effect, but if they’re going to do that, why not just have a Teamster come into the set and double check her harness?

The best singer and most accomplished actress in the entire production was Kelli O’Hara and she disappears for 2 ½ hours.

Maybe it’s because I saw the original Mary Martin versions but some songs like “I’m Flying”, “Wendy”, and “I’ll Never Grow Up” still get me every time.

Off to Never-Never Land. First stop: a gay bar with a pirate theme. When they all started prancing around with tambourines all I could think was “where were the cowbells?”

And what was with that strange pirate musical number that cut to commercial while Walken was straining to hold the last note, and then after five minutes of spots, they went back to him choking the note to death for ten more seconds, and then another five minute commercial break? I bet Walken thought he was on the entire time. Either that or he didn’t know he was on television at all.

The Jolly Roger didn’t need an anchor. It needed cue cards.

Lots of cleaning went on at Never-Never Land apparently. The pirates were swabbing the deck and the Lost Boys were sweeping their pad. I was beginning to think we were watching Felix Unger’s childhood wet dream.

The Lost Boys should be called Lost Men. Was there one of them under 35? Really. I would not have been surprised to see Woody Allen in short pants as part of the group. And what was with the German schoolboy uniforms they all wore? Did wardrobe get a deal on the costumes from SPRING AWAKENING?

It was only mildly creepy that 35-year-old men wanted a 25-year-old girl to be their mother. But let’s be real – PETER PAN is a pretty weird story no matter who does it. Children are abducted. Hot girls play young boys. Father-figures play the villain. And there’s more killing than an episode of 24.

I’m assuming the show got big ratings. If I know Mark Burnett, this spring expect to see SURVIVOR: NEVERLAND on CBS.

Update:  The ratings were disappointing.  Down 46% from last year's SOUND OF MUSIC.  Either the novelty has worn off or they should have gotten Lady Gaga to play Peter. 

Tiger Lily was pretty hot. I think Cher wore that same outfit during her Vegas stint. Her tribe consisted of authentic native-professional wrestlers. Glad they didn’t sing “Ugg-a-Wugg.” That’s a song that belongs in “Never-Never-Again Land.”

Those wildly day-glo Neverland outdoor sets that just exploded with every color in the rainbow looked like the backyard in every Disney Channel family sitcom. Hey, NBC, we all have color TV’s now. It’s no big deal.

Loved the Brian Williams promo in his daughter’s show.

Was that a sad crocodile? Did they hire a second grade class to design and build it? So scrawny. Hook shouldn’t be worried, even if he’s eaten. Clearly this is the one bulimic crocodile.

When the Lost Boys were kidnapped it looked like one was holding a Torah. Never growing up means putting off your Bar Mitzvah indefinitely.

So let me get this straight – the Captain’s name is James Hook and he just coincidentally lost a hand and has to wear a hook? Thank goodness his parents weren’t the Dickless family.

Certainly one of the highlights of any production of PETER PAN is when Peter addresses the audience and asks children to clap and show they believe in fairies. I’m sure when I saw this as a kid it wasn’t at 10:45 at night.  But we didn't have Wal-Mart back then.

In the big climactic scene when Hook blames Wendy for all the misfortune saying that a woman on the ship was bad luck, how I was hoping he’d slip and call her Natalie Wood.

During the program they invited viewers to Live Tweet. If I may be cynical for a moment, I wouldn’t be surprised if NBC didn’t care whether you hated the show. As long as you were tuned in. Hate-watchers count in the ratings just as much as adoring fans. And by suggesting people Live Tweet, knowing they were going to get crushed, they were encouraging hate watching. If this is the case, NBC, Allison Williams deserved better. She worked way too hard to be held up as a target.

Yes, part of the fun of a big live event is goofing on it. And when you take the big stage you have to know that’s part of the bargain. But all kidding aside, adapting Broadway musicals to television is incredibly difficult. It’s so hard to capture the thrilling experience that only live theater can provide. Add to that, all the commercial breaks – each one lasting as long as a normal theatrical intermission. So imagine trying to weave a magic spell when you have twelve intermissions during your show. And for the most part, you’re not using seasoned Broadway veterans who know how to keep the energy up for an entire performance. In this case you're using a former movie star who is a caricature of himself.  For all those reasons, I give PETER PAN LIVE high marks.

Allison, feel free to crow.