Here are my ramblings on yesterday’s Super Bowl. Warning: It’s impossible to discuss without touching on politics. Politics is so a part of the story. So if you only want to read my blog when it’s politic-free, that's totally cool, have a great day and we’ll see you tomorrow (I got a comedy post planned). To the business at hand. WOW. That was maybe the greatest Super Bowl in history. I know Falcon fans don’t agree. I feel your pain. Now you know what Hillary went through.
Tom Brady may be the greatest NFL quarterback ever. But I fucking hate him.
How many sportswriters used this phrase today: “
Even Hollywood couldn’t write this script!”?
Sorry haters but Joe Buck did a great job. Totally on top of the action, kept you informed of all in-game situations, and set just the right dramatic tone for the unbelievable rally. Imagine Gus Johnson doing this game.
For all of the Patriots’ heroics, one more field goal by Atlanta would have iced the game, and they put themselves out of field goal range by penalties. THAT was the killer.
I wonder how many people turned the game off after the Half-time show. Mike Pence split before the players could give him a speech on love and unity.
What’s the point of a flyover over a closed dome stadium?
I don’t remember a Super Bowl that received as little hype as this one. And now they’ll be talking about it for XXILCIXXL years.
One of my favorite moments was when the two opposing players got their helmets entangled. Siamese Super Bowl.
Oops. Fox’s live stream went down in the fourth quarter. Putin strikes again!
Okay, now let’s get to the stuff people
really tuned in for – the commercials, the Half-time show, and shots of Fox stars who will be out of work come June.
The commercials were really underwhelming again this year. Not funny. And many were confusing. How many times did you see some spot and go “What the fuck does
that mean?” A western movie set falls down and it’s an ad for Snickers. Huh?
Classy doing an air freshener spot during Half-time. Actually, I think more people went to the bathroom when the Justin Bieber spot came on.
The people who say they’re going to boycott Budweiser because of that fantastic ad (where they show an immigrant, Adolphus Busch, becoming something) still have twenty cases in their basement for emergencies just like this.
They might as well boycott Audi too because their ad proposed that women should receive equal pay. Not that those people buy Audis anyway. Instead, they’ll boycott the go-carts.
And what was the CHEERS theme doing in a Michelob commercial? It had no relation to what was happening on the screen. And it was the second sponsor that has now used it. All-State Insurance was the other I believe. Paramount hasn’t made enough money off the show? Jesus! I hope hearing the theme again motivated you not to buy their product, but to binge-watch CHEERS again on Netflix so I can make a dime.
Don’t you find it sad that commercials that celebrated our country’s ideals of tolerance, acceptance, and opportunity are considered insults by the current president of the United States?
Lady Gaga crushed it! Can that gal make an entrance? In her case a wardrobe malfunction might have resulted in death.
My friend Andy Goldberg was hoping Tony Bennett would fly in from the open roof as well.
Considering these shows are pretty much the same now –
star on giant stage, belting out their hits in highly choreographed routines with male Rockettes, changing costumes, fireworks exploding, a mosh pit of candle holders, etc. Lady Gaga really showed off her stuff. She sang, she hoofed, she tinkled, and like all truly gifted trained singers – she flew.
Some people complained she wasn’t outspoken enough. Not sure that was the place for that. I mean, it’s bad enough she sang about equality. Probably half the country boo’ed her for that.
Instead of listening to Terry Bradshaw and Jimmy Johnson gas off during half-time, wouldn’t you like to just see how they get that enormous stage on and off the field in five minutes? And all those people. Just once I’d like the third quarter to begin and during the kick off there’s some confused skeesix on the 30-yard line holding a candle.
What happens to that set? Does it go back to the $25,000 PYRAMID?
How pathetic to see Spuds MacKenzie now reduced to a translucent piñata. Did Ed Wood direct that spot?
If you were attending a Super Bowl party did you notice how all talking stopped when Christopher Walken filled the screen? And then resumed 30 seconds later when everybody said, “What the fuck was that?”
Anyway, for those who stuck around until the end, it was a comeback for the ages and just another reminder that we’re in the age of
bad guys win. But take heart. There’s a new BAYWATCH movie coming and pitchers and catchers report this week.